The End.

I want to remember this moment. 

This feeling. The reality that things did not~

absolutely did not

turn out the way I had hoped and planned. 

They are so much more difficult and so much better.

 I entered  this home a young hopeful bride and now, nearly 5 years later, I leave this apartment a single mother not knowing where I will be living next week. 

I leave with a few loyal friends by my side painting, taking stuff to the dumpster

 and cleaning the bathrooms. 

I have realized so much in this home. 

I have, many of nights, been on the floor of the bathroom 

balling my eyes out wondering where God was.  

I have been locked in my bedroom scared to death to come out. 

 I have learned how to cook in this kitchen. I started my business here. 

I brought my baby home to this address. 

I have had my lights cut off many a months in this home and wondered how 

I would be able to pay the bill on my own. 

I found out that I failed out of school in the hallway and in the living room was 

where I learned about the affair. 

I painted all the walls and hung every picture. 

I sat on the porch and ate ice cream more than I probably should have. 

I sat in my rocking chair in the middle of the night and nursed my baby with tears in my eyes 

wondering why the Lord would bless me with such a sweet darling. 

I learned the importance of a stud finder, clorox wipes and a mortar&pestle 

I can't believe 5 years has come and gone. 

Tears fill my eyes as I type this in my bare kitchen ~not because I am leaving this place but in thankfulness in all the Lord has allowed me to go through within these walls. 

I have gotten to know the Lord in this home. 

I have felt His presence and have heard His voice. 

I don't know where I will be living next. 

My home is the Hilton for now. 

It is all a part of the story and I must walk out these pages. 

And with that, I flip the last page of that book. 

The End.

It's a wonderful life.

Where do I begin...

Read this first: One year ago

Life is unreal. 

 Like, I honestly don't believe what is happening. 

If you know anything about me, then it is either that I hate kites or that I talk about life in terms of story. 

A few years ago, I handed over the pen, that I was using to write my own story, to the LORD. 

Since that moment, life has never been the same. 

Life got really "terrible" for a few years. I put terrible in quotes because what seemed to be terrible was actually the greatest thing that ever happened to my story. 

Failing out of school and getting divorce was not fun by any means but it was exactly what my character needed to go through in order to get where I am today. 

I thanked the Lord then, knowing that the storm would pass. 

And it has.

My life looks nothing like anything I could have written. 

It is a thousand times better and a million times harder. 

It is too WONDERFUL for me. 

I am entering into a new story with new characters & new adventures. 

I am overwhelmed with JOY.

I beg you, if you trying to write your own story, to hand over the pen to the Author who wrote the world and everything in it. 

Become a character in HIS story.

Endure the hard times.

Have crazy stupid faith that HE knows what HE is doing. 

Then, get lost in an epic story.

What kind of story are you living?

This Life

“We must be willing to get rid of the life we’ve planned, so as to have the life that is waiting for us.” 

–Joseph Campbell. 

Newness

This week is HUGE for me. There is so much newness going on. I am officially moving out the first week of August and am SO excited about it. I am staying in the Northern Virginia area and will let you know where I end up when I end up there :)

I leave Saturday for Kansas City!!!!!!! I can't wait. I have so many people to see and so much espresso to drink. The week after that I am headed to Disney World for a conference with my church. I am going to help and won't be at the actual conference but I do think I will meet Prince Charming there :)

I have started a new thing with my StyleBlog. I am really excited about the new concept and would LOVE it if you checked it out. This week is the test run for the new stuff. Lots of great things are going on the with business : BreezeStyling

Lots of good things. AND..Fall is just around the corner!!!

So. Click on this link: The Fitting Room.

I would love for you to share it with someone, tweet it, facebook it, re-blog it, follow it. Just spread the love :)

I hope your little life is coming together well. Everyday is another little page of the story. 

Happy Monday!

I really know not much

I hope you all had a great 4th of July weekend. I had a great time as I was at a BBQ at the home of a fabulous chef. 

You better believe I asked as many questions as I could about food. I learned about:

onions, pasta water, olives, bourbon, grilling, ranges, orzo, pans and tomatos. 

He loved to share his insight with me and I had such a great time learning about those things. 

There is so much to learn in this little life. 

I feel that the deeper you go in any area of life, you quickly come to the realization that you really didn't know much in the first place. I love how on time and gentle the LORD is with that reminder. 

I have so much to learn. 

So thankful for HIS grace in this day. 

The pieces

I vividly remember sitting at a little wooden table at my home in Missouri and putting together puzzles. I can smell that odd little smell that a newly opened puzzle box gave off. I see the little pile of shavings that spilled out with the 300 pieces of hope that lay before me.

I sense the feeling of wonder as I thought how on earth all of the odd colored shapes could somehow fit perfectly together to recreate the picture that graced the outside of the tiny box.

I can hear my mom telling me to separate the middle pieces from the outside pieces and then to do the outside pieces first.

Set the boundaries.

 Then.

Turn all the other pieces face up so you can see what you have. Look at the picture. Keep the vision of the end result in your mind.  

Our problem is that we haven’t asked the Lord to show us what His picture of our life looks like. We fashion in our minds what we want it to be but I believe there is a huge difference in the small picture that we want and the awesome picture the LORD has for us.

If we took time to get the vision, then will no longer go through life trying to discard some of the pieces that have been placed in our box. Some of these pieces, though they might not seem to fit or make sense to the picture, are there for a unique and perfect purpose.

Let’s ask the LORD for his picture for our lives and watch HIM perfectly use all the little pieces, even the ones that seem to make no sense, to make the picture which HE has drawn for us.

San Francisco Update

A few weeks ago, I got to spend some time in San Francisco. It has got to be my favorite US city. The weather was amazing, the food was perfect and I had the best tour guide I could ask for. 

The picture above is from a little bakery called Tartine. It was unreal.

I had the absolute best meal of my life at a restaurant called Foreign Cinema.

 I had the Mediterranean lamb. Unbelievable. 

We went to the Golden Gate Bridge, spent some wonderful time chilling in Chinatown & Japantown too.

We spent two days in Santa Cruz and went to a wonderful little coffee shop called Verve (it is featured in this months GQ :)

I also had the most amazing massage!

It was the best 4 days I could have asked for. 

The week also started by getting two great gifts!! One being these: AWESOMENESS

If you have never been, I hope you get the chance to. It is perfect. 

{A super huge THANK YOU to Zhēnguì de zhànshì)

Sweet Encouragement

"But Zion said, 'The LORD has forsaken me, 

my LORD has forgotten me.'

Can a woman forget her nursing child, 

or show no compassion for the child of her womb?

Even these may forget, 

yet I will not forget you.

See, I have inscribed you on the palms of my hands;

your walls are continually before me.

Your builders outdo your destroyers, 

and those who laid you waste go away from you.

Lift up your eyes all around and see;

they all gather, they come to you.

As I live, says the LORD, 

you shall put all of them on like an ornament,

and like a bride you shall bind them on."

Isaiah 49:14-18

The Chipotle Incident

I want you to laugh. How can I make that happen?

I am so tempted to write a funny story about a friend or Bailey but I won’t. I am also tempted to tell you about the time my brother tricked me with the ‘apple juice’ or about the time I tricked my dad into eating a robin egg. Those times are funny and disgusting but I think there is something better. I have no idea the thoughts you currently have toward me, if any, but this story will definitely alter your current view. I think the story is better told verbally, as I get to use dramatic pauses and fun hand/leg motions, so if we are in the same room and you want to hear it then ask. I will tell it; it keeps me humble. For the readers sake, I am leaving out lots of details. Here goes:

One day, I was at a clients house cleaning out her closet. It was about lunch time when we neared the end and so we decided to go grab some lunch. Where else should you go to grab a delicious lunch with a stranger (or anyone for that matter)? Chipotle. We went, lunch was great and we headed back to her place so I could pack up my rolling racks and what not. THEN. It hit me. Like the time  in 3^rd grade when I wasn’t looking and ran smack dab into the tether ball pole, so did the sour cream when it met my stomach acid. It was enabling. Some people would have just gone to the bathroom but when you are with a client and the bathroom is in the same space that you are working and WWII is happening in your guts, you tell your body that it is going to have to wait. There is no way I was going to destroy this ladies toilet. I quickly packed up my stuff and headed home.

15 minutes... I can hold it... Prayer... Come on green lights... Sweat... Shaking...

Halfway home, I started interceding on behalf of my colon and I did the whole, ‘if there is a God in heaven’ prayer. I had to go and I had to go NOW! I pulled into a McDonalds parking lot where I sat for 2 more painful minutes plotting my escape route to the bathroom. The problem was that I was clenching so tightly that to step out of the car would mean the destruction of my high end jeans. So I counted.

1.deep breath

2. shaking

3……..

The good news is that most people have had a ‘blow out’ in their day. I think most people have them as infants, but once you get crap on your knees as a 27 year old, you realize that you are not above anything.

Has this happened to you??

It's time..

"For everything there is a season, and a time for every matter under heaven:

a time to throw away stones, and a time to gather stones together; 

a time to embrace, and a time to refrain from embracing;

a time to seek, and a time to lose;

a time to keep, and a time to throw away;" 

Ecclesiastes 3:1,5/6

I have never before read those lines. The sweet little morsels were sandwiched between the lines I have frequently heard about being born and dying; war and peace. 

Something new is happening. 

I do not know what it looks like just yet but I am committed to the story and to finding out what the next chapters holds.

I have been in a season of WAIT and my soul is feeling the pull to GO.

I know not where; I know not when, but as I read the Word of God, I see over and over again a little line that pierces my heart. 

"as they went".

The Lord shows up over and over again as people were on the journey somewhere. I don't think these folk expected God to show up along the journey. I think they were waiting for the destination. I think we do this all to often. 

'When I get married..."

"When I get that job..."

"When I move to.........."

It is time. 

I. am. going. 

I fully expect the Lord to show up as I go. The destination is great and I am excited for it, but the transformation that is going to happen in these next few pages is way more critical to the story than where I actually end up. 

I am not scared as I walk into the unknown.

I am frightened for what would happen if I stay put.... 

Coffee talk....

Gosh. That picture makes me look tired. How long has it been since we have had a coffee talk...like months and I apologize. My doppio espresso with steamed breve and I are here. 

I can't believe that it is June. This month ranks #3 of my all time least favorites under July and August aka summer.

Okay. Let's see who is in the coffee shop. 

1. A lovely older black woman with the most beautiful toes I have ever seen. I think she must have just gotten them done. They are like a perfect shade of mauve. She is sitting directly in front of me and she is on her DELL. why do I instantly feel sorry for PC users? She has sunglasses on her head, which have the Crown Royal emblem on the sides, reading glasses on her face and pretty gold hoop earrings. She is wearing a lavender tank top and long white shorts. She has gorgeous hair and the more I study her, I realize it is a weave. When she sat down, she immediately got on facebook. She is on her pink iPhone now and she has the most GORGEOUS sapphire ring on her right ring finger. A silver charm bracelet loosely drapes her left wrist. Her nails are done in french tips and she is wearing brown strappy sandals.

2&3. There is a man and a woman behind me. They are arguing about a house and money and payments and some other woman. I don't think they are a couple but they talk like they are closely connected in some way. Their tone is not a good one. They are frustrated and angry. I have no idea what the man looks like but they are getting up now so I can see them.... They just walked out. He is wearing stupid shorts cargo khakis, a white polo and a red hat. The woman is in a red tank and some funny long black shorts. They went out to a Toyota and they are smoking. 

4. This Japanese chick just walked in and got a Venti iced beverage. She was wearing the tallest pink heels and a super cool blazer and jeans and big shades. The Japanese are so cool. She was the skinniest person I have seen all week and I think she was probably about 5ft tall, but with those heels and her confidence, she looked about 6ft. 

There are a few more people behind me that I can't see and if I keep turning around, I think I might get kicked out for being creepy. Life is going really well. I am deeply committed to the pages of my story. I will head to California in a few weeks and I am thrilled about that. I will learn some Chinese, eat really great food and see a great city with a wonderful friend. 

Happy June. 

I HATE SUMMER!!!!!!!

Just a few stones

photo: vi.sualize.us

I have been studying the story of David in 1Samuel.

 I am blown away by this man in his faith and confidence in the LORD. 

There is one line that just baffles me:

17:48 "When the Philistine drew nearer to meet David, David ran quickly toward the battle line to meet the Philistine."

Ran. Quickly. Toward.

ARE YOU KIDDING ME?

So you mean to tell me that there was this giant who was about 10 feet tall whom David had to fight, David was no MMA fighter by the way, and because of his relationship with the LORD, he knew that the LORD would deliver him from the hand of this giant??? AND...You mean to tell me that David didn't use the weapons that King Saul gave him. He took his armour OFF?

Is this kid crazy??

And THEN the little knuckle head went over to the river bed and picked up some STONES. Rocks. Pebbles. Was he THAT ignorant. Does he realize how silly he looks? Does he know how many people are watching and how much is at stake? 

Maybe he should have paused for a bit and weighed out all the pro's and con's for his actions. Clearly, if he thought this out logically he would realize that there was no way he could have won.

But this man knew his God. 

vs50 "So David prevailed over the Philistine with a sling and a stone, striking down the Philistine and killing him; there was no sword in David's hand."

Are we begging God to rescue us from the giants that are ready to destroy us or do we run quickly into battle with full confidence in what the LORD has spoken over us. 

If you like what you read then please follow and share with someone who could benefit :) Thanks!

When life sucks

Let’s get real and honest and real honest.

Sometimes life sucks really bad. Like all kinds of cuss words bad. I wake up and I wish I hadn’t. I hate my life and it is doing nothing to love me back. I have eaten all the food in the fridge, watched WAY to much reality tv or basketball, because I’d rather live in their reality than my own, but worse than all of these, it feels as if GOD has put his iPhone on silent while traveling the world helping everyone else but me. This is usually not a one day thing, although those do happen, but in my situation, it lasts more like weeks, months and even YEARS!!

Feel free to jump down here anytime and rescue me LORD! Do you see me down here dodging grenades and shrapnel favorite word all while trying to protect my job and my marriage and my future from being destroyed. DO YOU SEE ME???? Hello? Anyone? Beuller?

And then I start to feel crazy because CLEARLY, if I was a real Christian, I would be quoting cute little scriptures, listening to happy songs while boppin around smiling with glee and not overeating. But that is not the case.

I cry out to God and sometimes use bad words. I ignore my friends and family. I light candles and listen to Jason Upton while hoping my neighbors don’t hear me sobbing through the thin floor below. I shop, I work more, I sleep. I bite my cuticles and gain/lose a bunch of weight. I get really mad at that lady in church, you know, the one with the silly little Bible cover who seems to be living in a different decade,  marchin around tooting her horn of gladness while I am losing extremities down here in the trenches.

 Life feels more like a waging war than a smooth victory.

But I am a real Christian. Go read the Bible. That book is filled with stories of a bunch of scared women, lazy men, old Kings, stuttering goof balls, young Queens, helpless families and homeless people, whom God loved so much that HE allowed HIS child to die for and redeem. It’s quite crazy actually.  None of these people had giddy easy lives. They complained and got in trouble and slept with people they shouldn’t have and didn’t listen and they did all kinds of ridiculousness. If you search a bit, I'm sure you will find a few stories that sounds somewhat like your own. I know I have. And this gives me hope.

So we, in our desperation, helplessness and last bit of energy, have got to keep fighting. We must grab hold of the Word of God, get on our faces, begin to worship HIM and see if HE doesn’t send the

 Red CROSS to save us. 

I have a feeling HE did and HE does and HE will. I also think that when HE does come down to rescue us, HE may ask for us to lift our hand up so HE can grab it. In our pain and weakness, we may have to make an effort and reach out. It may not seem fair or fun or logical, and it probably won’t be, but if we could just see above the storm to the freedom, healing, restoration and victory that awaits…..

Have you every gone through a season like that?

I almost quit

photo: vi.sualize.us/

So I almost quit today.

 I wanted to. Like really bad. Not sure it would rank it in the top 5 wanting to quit times but it was def. in the top 20.

 I’m sure you have never wanted to just walk the heck out of your life- Get in your crappy car or your nice leased car, crank up some Metallica or Lil’ RapsALot or whomever gets your gears-a-grindin, hit up the QuickieMart, fill up the tank, get a highly caffeinated, overpriced sugary beverage, and get the you-know-what outta dodge! Man oh man. I may or may not have felt that feeling a few thousand times these past few years.

So I did what most folks would do in this sort of crisis.

 I got to Twitter.

 I saw the tweet that my Pastor posted of the sermon I missed while I was in KansasCity titled:

 ‘Gideon pt1’. Link to podcast

Here are some of my sermon notes who takes sermon notes AND actually keeps them and THEN re-reads them and studies them. I do. I will be getting a crown for that. Just sayin :

~Gideon was not in on the high hill when the angel appeared to him; he was in the low valley (ummm..yes. I can relate to that. I am in no high place right now..well, 3^rd floor apt. but that doesn’t count.)

~ Gideon was scared; that is why he was hiding in the wine press (His people were being attacked and he had no idea what to do. I have no clue what to do either)

~Few do what Gideon does-HE DOESN’T QUIT. If you quit then you don’t see the victory (ooh. I want that victory)

~God wants to do something through me not for me. God wants those around me to be able to say, ‘only God could have done that!’(Well, considering my current situation, there is no way I can make things happen. It has GOT to be GOD)

~vs 12, the angel of the Lord calls Gideon a ‘mighty warrior’ although, on paper, Gideon family was the weakest in Manasseh and Gideon says that he is ‘the least important member of [his] family’.(My family is the toughest in  town but I may be the least important member. The point here is that the angel calls Gideon based on how the LORD sees him not who he was on paper. While he was hiding, scared and clearly NOT fighting, he gets called Mighty and a WARRIOR!

I did not feel like a mighty warriorette today. I was a more like the scared Gideona in the earlier verses who was hiding out in the wine press. But that is not what the Lord called me today. The LORD called me out based on who I am in HIS eyes and not who I am on paper. The LORD calls me a mighty warriorette which means :

1. I have got to be strong

2. There is a battle that I am in which means there is something to fight for

So, I did a few push-ups and put on some war paint I did neither of these things and put my perspective in check. I started giving thanks to the LORD, spent some time in worship and most importantly:

I. didn’t. quit!

Have you ever felt like this? 

San Francisco

Next month. 

I will be there. 

It is said to be the 'asian capitol of the US' that is ironic considering I am going to visit an asian friend. 

I will be there for 5 days. 

I have never been to the WestCoast. 

I hear it is magical and that I won't want to come back. 

Things I want to do in SanFran:

-rides bikes across the golden gate bridge

-eat at some great places

-play in the water a bit

-go to the 4-story Anthropologie

What else to do? :)

Bless this Mess

We all have a story. The days, months, and years that lead to this very day. Some have sad stories, some boring and others, while only a small handful, really exciting. If I had to put a title on my 28yr story I would call it “A beautiful Mess”. The beautiful part comes from the grace that the LORD has lavished upon me. And the ‘mess’, well:

The Mess

About 7 years ago, I wanted to get married. Like really bad. So I, being the strong 1/2 black woman that I am, made that happen. I just wanted to have my family and run my home and hang clothes on my clothes line and have friends over for dinner parties because we all know that is the reality of marriage (hahah). Looking back, it was a ‘DUH’ as to why I should not have entered into that marriage, but at the time, it was all I could focus on. I wanted a marriage more than I wanted the LORD’s will for my life. So I got it. I started school to become a dental hygienist, so that I could work and provide for my family..biblical, all while raising a 2yr old. Well, within the first year of the program, both my marriage and my education failed. Ugh. I lost my career, my husband, my money, my pride all in the same year. Kind of a lot. And that my friends is what I call the ‘mess’.

The beautiful

I am so thankful that I serve a GOD that is able to make right that which I mess up. The LORD put a new dream in my heart. A dream that could only have come by going through the loss and rejection that I went through. A dream that starts in a closet. In your closet. Cleaning out the clutter, organizing what is left. Simplifying your life. Teaching. Empowering. Encouraging. Because its all about your perspective and when you lose what you thought was ‘everything’, you can either gain depression and bitterness OR hope and a future!

I am excited for a year from now. I am not excited for all the things I have to do now in order to get what I feel is for me because, frankly, I do not enjoy handing out postcards door to door in my neighborhood. That is not fun. But it is the step that I have to take today yesterday to get where I want to be at 30yrs old. I feel like I have a second chance at life and, by God’s grace, I am NOT going to mess this up. 

How to...

So, more than 3 people have come up to me, quite nervous, and told me that they read my blog. They go on to say how they aren't creepers and that they feel weird telling me that. 

It is not weird.

What is weird is that you people can't just click the dang FOLLOW button. 

It's like this, kinda-

I don't know about you but I listen to 'listener supported radio' most of the time. It is the classical station. And they are always trying to raise money because that is how they run their business hence the 'listener supported', have I ever sent a check?

NO. 

I should but I don't. 

Well, let's face it. If I were writing for me, which I do, I would not post it on the internet and I don't post those writings here. 

This is for you. Not asking for money yet, just saying:

'Hey. This is a reader supported blog. Clicking Follow is merely saying that you are making a free contribution to my writings.'

I recently read a book about setting goals and making them happen. 

I have a goal of 100 followers by the end of the year. 

Help make it happen. Share the blog. Follow the blog. Love the blog :)

Here is how to follow:

1. Look to the right and under 'Readers of the Mess' is a button that says:

FOLLOW

2. Click that button.

3. It will give you options. If you have gmail, then click that button. If twitter, then click that button. If you have Yahoo (I hope you get the point by now). If you have none of these then click the button that says OpenID.

4. Type your name. Hit ok.

5. Receive thanks from me. 

Did you do it?

The Journey

Where are you going and what do you need to get there?

Chapter 1

The LORD knows how to position us for that to which HE has called us. 

Killing Me Softly

As I sit on this patio at a coffee shop in Kansas City, I am plagued with the smell of cigarette smoke. 

Why do people still smoke? I think to myself. 

Don't these people know how bad smoking is for their body?

Why would you purposely put toxins in your body.

Why would you kill your cells one by one day after day.

Then I thought:

What do I do, day by day, bit by bit, that slowly kills my body, my soul, my mind.

Thoughts of past rejections silently kill my self-esteem.

Musical fumes laced with money & power quietly strum their beat in my heart.

Small doses of fear and doubt go down smooth every 4-6 hours. 

And I die a little bit everyday.

It is time that I wake up. It is time that you wake up. It is time we get the junk out. That we are aware of what we put in our bodies; in our minds; in our souls. 

It is my heart to change lives one closet at a time. 

One meal at a time. 

One conversation at a time. 

One day at a time.

What is on your heart?

To: My brother and new sister

-Bubba-

I love you so much. 

You are my first, tallest, smartest, quietest, humblest, gentlest brother. 

I am so stinking glad that you got married yesterday. 

I am sick and tired of you talking about how you want to get married.

I know that you are going to be an amazing husband to Kara. 

I am so honored to call you my brother. 

I love how you take it when Jon and I pick on you. We both know that you are the favorite so we gotta get our jabs in somehow. And remember..being the favorite means that you are going to be the one to wipe mom and dad when they are unable. It is not quite the honor as you may think. But..you will be making more money than Jon and I so you will probably just pay someone to do it.

I am so thankful that you came out to Virginia to live for a bit. I will take full credit for your awesome style and that you are now going to be a chiropractor. Let's remember the 'wardrobe' if you want to call it that, when you came out to VA and how you were gonna move to OK and get a minimum wage job workin at Braum's or somethin 

My prayer for you as a husband is that you will learn how to love that hot woman of yours as Christ loved the church. That you will serve her and rub her back and let her have the last of the Nutella. That you will become a student of her. 

You are a great man of God and I thank HIM for you.

PS.

I am sorry for burning your hand with the lightbulb when we were babies what parents leave an open lightbulb within a 3yr olds reach... but I think your scar is pretty cool so, once again, I will accept your thanks. 

~Sister~

Look. I just met you Friday.

Not quite sure what I fully think about you yet. I mean, you are good looking and your quads are to die for. Your cheek bones are perfect and my brother married you...so..I guess I will learn to love you.

I hope you know that I have not liked ANY of the many girls that my brother hoped to marry. None. But once he told me that you understand his mumbling and you finish his crossword puzzles, I thought, WOW. I really like this chic.

I am so glad to have you as my sister. 

My prayer for you is that you will respect my brother and become a student of him. That you will learn to cook well and you will run a great home. I pray that you will serve him everyday and in every way. Pray for him daily and make sure he doesn't get fat.

I had a great time with you this weekend and I can't wait for you and Nate to get back from your honeymoon so I can re-do your wardrobe and teach you how to cook. 

Don't forget that I am the oldest and wisest of the siblings. 

You got a great man and are one lucky lady.

Welcome to the Thomas family!!

(And don't ever forget Mrs.Thomas, that I wrestled and I am a Thomas so if you EVER do anything to hurt my brother...

I.

will.

destroy.

you.)

Love you guys!!!!!!!

Bridge over troubled waters

A bridge has been built between my unstable past and my solid future. 

It is up to me to walk across it.

As I walk, I look down seeing the dreams and ideas that have fallen below.

My hope can no longer reside in those things. 

Not in a marriage, not in a degree, not in a cute house with great appliances. 

My hope won't rest in a great wardrobe or the best body or the most wonderful travels.

My hope is in the Lord. 

My dreams have been too small. 

My vision cloudy.

' And blessed is she who believed that there would be a fulfillment of what was spoken to her by the LORD'

-Luke 1:45

Bailey boo

She melts my heart. 

Ruthless obedience

I was reading today in 1 Samuel about King Saul.

I long for 100% obedience.

To sum up the chapter, Samuel got a Word from the Lord for the newly appointed King Saul. He tells the King specifically where to go and what will happen when he gets there. He tells Saul about the people he will meet along the way and specifically:

10:8 'You must wait for seven days until I (Samuel) arrive and give you (Saul) further instructions'.

So the story goes on and all things happen just as the Lord had said. Day 7 rolls around and no Samuel. King Saul and his men are starting to freak out (I forgot to mention there were about 3,000 chariots, 6,000 charioteers and the Word says,"and as many warriors as the grains of sand on the seashore!" waiting to kill Saul and his men. So King Saul takes matters into his own hands and commands his people to take up a burnt offering...bad choice.

13:10 "Just as Saul was finishing with the burnt offering, Samuel arrived. Saul went out to meet and welcome him, but Samuel said, "What is this you have done?"

So Saul does his 'but..but..but.' and tries to make excuses for what he did.

13:13"How foolish!' Samuel exclaimed. 'You have not kept the command the LORD your God gave you. Had you kept it, the LORD would have established your kingdom over Israel forever. 14 But now your kingdom must end, for the LORD has sought out a man after his own heart. The LORD has already appointed him to be the leader of his people, because you have not kept the LORD's command."

Moral of the story:

 Be ruthlessly obedient when the LORD tells you to do something, especially when you feel like you are about to be defeated. The Lord is faithful, and as I am learning, HE likes to wait to the last minute to see if we really trust what HE has told us. It is scary and painful and you will feel alone BUT I believe that kingdoms await those who obey. I long for 100% obedience.

“If you fully obey the Lord your God and carefully keep all his commands that I am giving you today, the Lord your God will set you high above all the nations of the world."-Deuteronomy 28:1

What has the LORD told you to do?