Bless this Mess

We all have a story. The days, months, and years that lead to this very day. Some have sad stories, some boring and others, while only a small handful, really exciting. If I had to put a title on my 28yr story I would call it “A beautiful Mess”. The beautiful part comes from the grace that the LORD has lavished upon me. And the ‘mess’, well:

The Mess

About 7 years ago, I wanted to get married. Like really bad. So I, being the strong 1/2 black woman that I am, made that happen. I just wanted to have my family and run my home and hang clothes on my clothes line and have friends over for dinner parties because we all know that is the reality of marriage (hahah). Looking back, it was a ‘DUH’ as to why I should not have entered into that marriage, but at the time, it was all I could focus on. I wanted a marriage more than I wanted the LORD’s will for my life. So I got it. I started school to become a dental hygienist, so that I could work and provide for my family..biblical, all while raising a 2yr old. Well, within the first year of the program, both my marriage and my education failed. Ugh. I lost my career, my husband, my money, my pride all in the same year. Kind of a lot. And that my friends is what I call the ‘mess’.

The beautiful

I am so thankful that I serve a GOD that is able to make right that which I mess up. The LORD put a new dream in my heart. A dream that could only have come by going through the loss and rejection that I went through. A dream that starts in a closet. In your closet. Cleaning out the clutter, organizing what is left. Simplifying your life. Teaching. Empowering. Encouraging. Because its all about your perspective and when you lose what you thought was ‘everything’, you can either gain depression and bitterness OR hope and a future!

I am excited for a year from now. I am not excited for all the things I have to do now in order to get what I feel is for me because, frankly, I do not enjoy handing out postcards door to door in my neighborhood. That is not fun. But it is the step that I have to take today yesterday to get where I want to be at 30yrs old. I feel like I have a second chance at life and, by God’s grace, I am NOT going to mess this up.