Old posts

Things are changing. I will give updates soon. The reason I haven't been blogging is that I am getting new internet service and for some reason it takes weeks and weeks to get it installed so annoyed. But anywho. I am at the bookstore now so I decided to post. I want this one to be sort of a walk in the past. I have gone back and re-read some of my old posts and compiled some of my favorites. Please only pick the one that you are in the mood for. Thanks.

If you want to laugh then read:
My Milkshake brings all the boys to the yard.
If you want to read just blabber then read:Coffee talk.
If you want to laugh again then read: Maryland.
If you are fairly new to the blog and and didn't know that a year ago I was a dental hygiene student but then failed out then read:It's over..or is it just beginning?
If you want to know what makes me happy then read:It Really makes me Happy when.....
If you want to see hot guys:Beckham
If you want to see Kim Kardashian:Kim Kardashian
If you want to see me half naked:so much to say
If you are going through a hard time:Painful pages
If you are sick of my blog and want to make something for dinner:101 cookbooks
If you want to see how cute my child is:Bailey

That is all folks.

Bailey

Bailey rubbed my head today and said, 

"Mom. You are like a brown panda".

This was a cute hat that she got for Christmas from Anthropologie and her panda which she named 'Jack'. She wants to drag this huge panda everywhere and she likes to show off her hat by saying,

"I want to show you my balls!". 

This kid is funny.

"Mom, is that you?"

I am tired. So much to do this month. Everything is, of course, coming together. Why do we ever doubt. The Lord loves us and loves the details of our lives. Things are going to look really different come spring. I am excited for these changes. Bailey just asked me to lick her finger and I did.

I.don't.play.

Dude: "Ey. I waz jus admirin yo beauty and wanted to know may I take you out to dinner sometime."

Me: "No you may not."

Bailey

It is Bailey's birthday. I cannot believe that 3 years ago today, I was in the most excruciating pain of my life, which, after a mere 23 hours, ended with a 20lb weight loss and a blonde haired, blue eyed little girl. I love this kid more than I can express as I know all of you parents out there can understand. Here is a list of some of the ridiculous things she has said recently:

-"I like brown boys; mommy likes white boys"


-"I want to be a tomato when I grow up or a helicopter like my uncle Nate" (she means a chiropractor)


-"Because I am white" (after asking her why she is so cute)


-"Momma, I like your butt and your toes" (?)


-"That sounds dangerous" (after telling her that she will be flying back from Kansas City with her mimi and grandma)


-"But I have to because it's my birthday!" (after telling her that I don't want her to grow up or get bigger)


Love you Bailey boo!!

Fun facts or stupid facts or just poppycock.

1. You would never catch me sitting on a rooftop like that. I am deathly afraid of heights. Wait...I am also a liar. I have kinda sat like this (but not THAT close to the edge) with a fun friend in Kansas City. I don't recommend it.

2. There is a mini crunch bar in my bed at the moment. I found it this morning. I don't know why it is there. It is under the sheets. The interesting part of all of this little crunch bar story is that I didn't move it. I left it there. What does that say about me?

3. I make a huge breakfast every morning: potatoes, onions, 3 eggs, cilantro or basil, sea salt, fresh ground pepper, jalepenos.

4. I have a brown corduroy duvet cover on my bed now. Its my "winter" duvet. I think duvets should be changed with the seasons.

5. last movie I saw in theaters was "Eat, Pray and Love". That takes away from my street cred I know.

6. I have never been to the West Coast or Europe and am dying to go to both.

7. I own 5 pair of tweezers.

8. I cannot stand the orange Dial soap. It is just stupid.

9. I think sharing a spoon with someone is so gross and unhygienic. It doesn't matter if you are kissing that person. Wait. Let me rephrase that. It has nothing to do with you. It doesn't matter if I am kissing or have had kissed that person. I will not. I repeat. WILL NOT. Share a spoon. That is just vial. Forks are welcome and so is a straw but a spoon. YUCK!

10. I am a shape snob. Circles are chubby, triangles and going in too many directions, rhomboids...whatever. Squares are where its at.

11. Places you won't ever find me: Walmart, Kohls, Abercrombie, Chick-fil-a just twice but I don't like it...so I guess I should take it off the list. Nope. Keepin it, Charlotte Roose that place is so bad it doesn't deserve the proper spelling , Subway, Vera Bradley don't get me started,  GameStop and Petco.

12. I eat ice cream every day.

13. I don't think 30 Rock is that funny.

Roller coaster

The last loop-de-loop of this roller coaster ride is up ahead. I can't wait to get off.  

Newsflash: Missouri is not Kansas

I have been getting some funny responses lately when people hear the response to where I am from. RECENT INCIDENT #1:  Just last week at work, I asked the shoe shine guy what time the Missouri/Nebraska game was on. I work at Nordstrom. They have a shoe shine guy. Or 3. They are all 60 year old black men that are hilarious.  So the guy looks at me, while in the middle of shining a beautiful chestnut wingtip Santorelli, and laughs out loud. The man whose shoe he was shining also laughed and so did the 2 other guys that were standing there. I asked why the laughs were necessary and mentioned that I was rooting for Missouri and so I cared about the game. That made them laugh harder. The shoe shine guy said, "MISSOURI? Who is from Missouri?".  More laughs rose and as I walked away shaking my head. A few minutes later the guy came up to me and said again, "Missouri?". I let him know that he did not ask as question and that he just said the name of my home state. He then said, "Are there black people in Missouri?". I said yes and that I was from Kansas City. He said, "OH. Kansas City! They killin people up in Kansas City". I said yeah and that I would also cut him if he keeps mocking my state.

RECENT INCIDENT #2
Yesterday, while at work, this sweet little woman from Scotland asked to help her find something in the store. She was adorable, purely due to the accent, and I, of course in Bre fashion, started to talk back to her in my Scottish accent. I found out that she was a flight attendant and the airline had lost her luggage so all she had was the trousers she was wearing and a pull over which she called a "jumper". I thought that was cute. Anywho. I told her that I would love to visit her country someday and she told me about the castles and what not. She asked where I was from and I said Kansas City due to the laughs that Missouri gets I thought it might sound a bit cooler to say Kansas City.  Her little face lit up as did mine when she said that she was from Scotland. She said, "OH! I will have to tell my daughter that I met Dorthy! She will be thrilled!!". This lady was excited about it to. I had to bust her bubble and let her know that I was not from Kansas. She didn't care and carried on about the Wizard of Oz. She explained to me that her daughter wouldn't know the difference and how cool it was.

These people out here act like I am from some little country state in the middle of nowhere where the people worship the alters of Wal-mart and drive old trucks. They make it sound like there are cows and workin men in Carharts on the sides of the dirt roads. Like people have little gardens and hang their clothes on clothes lines and know everyone in town. Well, let me be the first to say: SO WHAT!!  It's a great place with great people and good food. Everything is close and traffic means cars on the road and I can't wait to visit over Thanksgiving!

always with wings

the last post was so boring and ridiculous that i had to redeem myself. 

Maryland

There are few places I don't ever want to live.
#1. India

I spent today in Maryland for a photo shoot. I went by McDonald's for a quick bite after my little commute. I was greeted at window #1 by a I had to do a double take and check for a bra girl. A female. I would not call her a woman. She had female parts the parts I could see.  She has a freshly shaved head and her brown arms were covered with tats. Not like pretty girl tats but like thug tats. Like she has seen some thangs. Like she has popped a few caps in an ass or two. I got scared. I gave her my 2.11$ for my cheeseburger and small fry and rushed to the second window......BUT...I think her twin was working the second window. Another black female with a shaved head. Is there some new dress code at Maryland McDonald's?? This female was scarier than the first and she had a cross tattoo under her eye. WHO DOES THAT!!!!! I will tell you who does that....that chick at McDonald's in Maryland does that. So she gives me my bag of goodness but I really wanted a water. My voice cracked as I asked her, in the most suburban voice ever, if I could get a water too. I was nervous. She gave me a look as though she was about to make a value meal out of me by ripping my heart of my chest, putting it on a sesame seed bun, adding fries and a red drink. Fortunately, I made it out alive. My fries were not good but I was not about to take them back.
#2. Maryland

bad face

I am drinking my Belgian beer and eating Brussels cookies. hmmm. If I can't be in Europe then I will bring Europe to my house. I have really tried to process what has been going on but it is kinda hard with a 2 year old wanting you to hold her while having episodes 17-20 of "Gummi Bears" on repeat. I have about 60 days to get out of my apartment. I am moving. For real. Moving closer to the city. D.C. I am excited. I found out that we can file for divorce as of January 1st. JANUARY 1ST!!!!! That is so soon. That was by far the best news of my day. Why am I listening to Christmas music?
I am going to start putting lots of effort into my business. I haven't been. at.all. I have had clients come to me and really haven't taken anytime to get the word out or do any sort of marketing. For those who did not know, I am a Personal Style Consultant. Best job ever huh? If you have seen the show What Not to Wear, then you know what I do. without the camera and without the 5K.  I love allowing women/men to see the power that a wardrobe can have. To feel beautiful. To dress the body that is currently theirs. Not 10lbs lighter or how it used to be but how it is now. I teach my clients about the importance of proportion and fit in their clothing. I teach them how to shop with a purpose and on a budget. I throw away the horrible things I find in their closets and bring to life things that they didn't know were great. I shop for those who hate to shop and bring bags of goodness to their homes. I love what I do. This is just a time of transition for me as I look for a new home and spend lots of hours building my business.
I have about 9 pen pals now. It is so much fun. I had to buy more stamps yesterday. I have 2 in Missouri,  4 in Virginia, 1 in Tennessee, 1 in Georgia and 1 in California. Thank you to my pen pals. It is fun getting to know you and your handwriting and your paper and your envelopes. I love getting your letters in the mail. I would love to have pen pals in each state and some overseas. I gotta think of a cooler word than pen pal.   I am going to Kansas City the end of August/early Sept. I don't know for how long. Maybe a few weeks. I am excited for that trip. My last trip their was awesome and I expect this one to be even better. I am glad July is almost over and I hope that August goes by even faster. It is my least favorite of all the months of the year. It is the hottest. Grrrrrr. September is just around the corner, which means I will be 28 years old. Bring it. I am ready to be 28. Top 3 recent searches in my google search thingy:
1. how do you say goodbye in Swedish
2. how tall is Halle Berry
3. Adele Best for Last Lyrics
Today, Bailey (my daughter) looked at some of my new modeling pictures and said, "Momma. You need a hair cut and you have a bad face."
:)

My milkshake brings all the boys to the yard

ps. the guys really don't look like this. 

So I work at a lounge now. I am really enjoying it. The people watching in Arlington, VA is like none other. There are some great and interesting people out there and I am so glad to be able to meet some of these 'characters'. They are not necessarily characters in MY story. I mean, for a few moments they are but what I mean is that they are funny people. What I am really enjoying is the male/female interactions...and to be more specific, the way the guys are with me. Our lounge has a TON of regulars and my lovely trainers introduce me to all of the regs. They are typically late 20's to late 30's professionals who make way too much money for the work they actually do so they work for the government.  Tonite I want to specifically talk about one gentleman whom we will call F. i forgot his name but it began with an F. so many of these characters have really cool exotic names. I like that.  So my boy F who is about 6'4, weighs probably 190, blue v-neck, ripped jeans, cool eyes, whitebread found out he was born in Bosnia and Amstel Light in hand SICK approaches me at the end of the bar and has NO clue how the next twenty minutes or so of his life are about to pan out. He shakes my hand and tries to order some drinks for his friends. 

Okay..so I don't have to give all the little silly details. 

His name was very odd so I asked him where he was from. He told me to guess I LOVE the guess where I am from game because I think I am pretty good at it :)  I guessed Greece because he just had the look. He said close and that he was from Bosnia. Once again here comes my geography that I did not care to learn but is needed to know where heck Bosnia is.  so....anyways....Talked a bit about what he does and what I do and played guessing games on that one too.

F tells me that he is really interested in me and blah blah blah who knows maybe he could be the love of my life.  I let him know that I was probably NOT like the other girls and that a relationship between us would probably more than likely NOT work out for only a few thousand reasons. Then F asks to take me to dinner so that he can get to know me really F? wow. i feel so special. my heart is beating so fast. I am getting butterflies in my stomach and a bit nervous. just kidding I told him that I would love to but I have a few questions. I asked him what 2 desires of his heart were. 

Answer: buying a home for his parents in Bosnia and moving them back because they want to live there and they did so much for him. The second one was something like working with children or....I don't remember that one. Oh..It just came to me. He said that he wanted to find fulfillment in life. I asked him where he thought that came from. I don't remember his answer to that but it  had something to do with helping people and kids which led to him telling me that he was working at this elementary school today which lead to me asking why he was at an elementary school today if he works in IT which led to him telling me that it was community service which led to him telling me about his charge with possession of marijuana and coke. not classic either

This is the point of the story where I held up one hand, looking into my palm as if there were a list of all possible future spouses numbered neatly with a Sharpie on it and with my other hand I proceeded to use my pointer finger as the Sharpie to sadly cross his name off the list. I made a sad face, gently touched his well defined deltoid and apologized for my deletion of his name. I did assure him, however that we could be friends and I could see him again friday he better tip well too!! He talked to me every chance possible and kept trying to convince me that he was done selling coke and weed and I kept trying to convince him that I was so glad, so proud, so NOT going home with him. He was heartbroken but seems to leave happy with that drunk tall girl at the other end of the bar. (ps. all of this really did happen. I laughed inside a bit)

You mean he really didn't care about me and my heart? I am in shock. 

Dear boys at the bar:

Get a man's drink, some integrity and Jesus and then come say hi to me at the end of the bar. 

signed-bre aka the new girl aka halle.