Uncontaminated Trust

photo cred: hughstewart.com

"The basic premise of biblical trust is the conviction that God wants 

us to grow, to unfold, and to experience fullness of life. 

However, this kind of trust is acquired only gradually  and most often 

through a series of crisis and trials."

~Brennan Manning in Ruthless Trust~

Just jump!

Do you want to travel? Buy a ticket.

Want to learn a language? Sign up for a class.

Want your teeth whiter? Buy Crest white strips.

Want to lose some lbs? Quit drinkin beer and join CrossFit. 

Want to not watch so much tv? Turn the dang thing OFF.

Want to read a book? Read one. 

Sometimes we make life so much more complicated than it really is. 

So stupid.

photo: photodonuts.com

Life is stupid good. 

 Pages are being written. 

My soul is well & my God is sweet. 

This Life

“We must be willing to get rid of the life we’ve planned, so as to have the life that is waiting for us.” 

–Joseph Campbell. 

Sweet mornings

Bailey's Morning:

Momma's morning:

Smokers smell

Another month nearly gone. Time is flying. This year is nearly over. This year. This hardest year of my life. For that I am thankful. I am reflecting on where I am now and where I hope to go. I am not just thinking about the destination but the journey that is ahead. It is not an easy road. I am going to need help. I am going to need faith. I need to get ready. Get my heart ready. I gotta make the necessary steps now to ensure that I get where I want to go. It seems daunting when I think about all that I must do in order to get to the place where I feel that I am suppose to be. Seems overwhelming and unrealistic. God has to do it through me. I know I can't do it on my own.Sidenote. It is Halloween. I am at the mall. I wonder what foreigners are thinking as grown women are walking around in pirate costumes and kids are dressed like pumpkins and little butterflies. We are a weird country. I am disturbed because I can' tell if some of the people are in costume or not. I hope the little dresses are just prostitute costumes and that people really don't dress like that. I have a strange feeling, however, that they wear those dresses on days   other than October 31st. 

Random ponderings #4

Just dreaming of life.

Walking out this day. Thinking of tomorrow. Doing the hard work now. Building my future one little brick at a time. The payoff will be great but it will not be now.

I am going to Kansas City for Thanksgiving!!!!!! I am beyond excited for this trip. My last trip home was the best ever and I expect even greater things this trip. I will get to see my friend L's new baby, hang with newly acquired friends from my last trip and hang with my dear friend A who is also going to be there for the holiday!!! (umm. so pumped about that A. Once again you made my day) I just love that city. I love the people and the simplicity of life there. It is refreshing.

You know what has been really grinding my gears lately? Uggs and bootie shorts paired together. I hate both of them for obvious reasons but when they come together I physically get sick. A bit of vomit comes up and I have to quickly swallow to get it back down. I am also seeing way to many puffy vests. I don't mind a thin puffy vest but the ones that stick out a good 6 inches in the front and back are just silly. Don't do it. I will write about you. I am also not enjoying the flip flops that are still lingering. I wasn't supportive in the summer and I will not be supportive in October. I also can't believe that grown women are wearing the sweat suits still. Even worse, here at Tyson's corner mall, they have the words tattooed and bedazzled on the ass of the sweat pant. Again, vomit comes up.

That was so negative. My eyes have been pleased with all the tights and skirts that are being worn. The Hugo Boss slim fit suits are so hot. I think every thin man should own one or two. I am loving the loafers without sock look and the short hem on the skinny trouser. There are lots of great looks going on this fall. Camel is a huge color for fall and I just love love love it. I know that feathers and animal print is big but I chose to stay away from it. I am diving into vintage pieces and can't wait for my Kansas City trip to find some treasures. The vintage shopping in KC is the BEST!!!!

Back to work. I am so excited to get off tonite, watch some Modern Family, eat ice cream and take up the entire bed

Chapter 27 is about over

It is almost that time. I think September has gone by way too fast. I have one more day to be 27. For that I am thankful. I have gone thru more as a 27 year old than any other age. Things I have done as a 27 year old:

-gone through a year of dental hygiene school

-raised a 2 year old

-failed out of dental hygiene school

-started 2 new jobs

-perfected my eyebrows

-learned how to cook really well

-gone to KC twice

-gone through the process of divorce

-got rid of television

-left a church

-got a new church family :)

-re-did my apt like 20 times

-acquired some great characters for the story

Just to name a few things. I can't wait to be 28. 

Chapter 27 is coming to a close with Chapter 28 looking very promising!! 

The ink needs to dry

Creating a new life.
Scary.
Exciting.
Surreal.
Beautiful.
I had no clue that life could be this great.
At one point, I felt as though life was dragging me thru an unending, frigid winter.
Hoping for the spring, I held on, looking up at my Maker for reassurance for new things to come, trusting that one day, the ice will melt and become a refreshing drink for the thirsty ground below. That solid ground, I believed, would soon become a foundation on which life would flourish.
Confident.
Hopeful.
Creative.
Free.
The Lord is faithful.
Life is flourishing.

coffee talk

Okay. So have I mentioned how much I love this coffee shop? Last time I was here okay, not the last time. the last time i learned from L. that just because you speak Swedish, it doesn't mean you are from Sweden :) I got lemonade from Jose'. This time......Rob, the pastry chef here at Northside, whom I see but have never met, until today, brings me a piece of chocolate that he made.....ummmm. What kind of chocolate is it you might be asking? CARDAMOM!!!!! I asked him how he knew that I am obsessed with Cardamom. He didn't know. Oh.my. That just made my day. I am eating Cardamom chocolate right now while sipping my iced coffee. wow. Life be good.

I also just saw lightning hit some light pole across the street and catch it on fire. Pretty cool. and scary.

This week went well. I put some effort in my business, hung out with some new characters, spoke with a British accent for 2 days, received 2 letters from penpals, ate the best cheeseburger ever, made some delicious food, cut Bailey's hair, paid bills, and told the Dean of Dental Hygiene that I would not be back in the fall. So..pretty eventful.

My heart, as of this week, is at a place that it has never been before. I feel so content. It doesn't feel like a sitting in a hammock on the beach sort of contentment but rather a carving powder on a snowboard down a black diamond sort of contentment.  All is right and everything is happening according to the Author. I feel so aware of the scenes around me. It's the difference between drinking wine and going to a wine tasting. With tasting, you pick out notes, flavors, hints of berry and spice. There is a song that I have been listening to from a cd mix that my dear friend G. made for me. One of the lines goes,
"We have tasted life, we have taken on, with a big breath out and a big breath in. We say LA LA LA LA LA LA LA".

I just love that. I am tasting life. Enjoying every bit of it. It is full bodied and complex with hints of cardamom.

sweet/bitter.

Life is wonderful right now.
 Bailey is sleeping in my bed, the dishwasher is running, candles lit, teapot is whistling, kitchen is clean and my two dear friends just left(not glad they left but very glad for our evening together). What a surreal moment. The LORD really does make all things beautiful. Just in time. I feel like the 'just in time' part gets looked over but it's key. Some time ago (almost a year ago) I was reading this verse:

"For the LORD has called you like a wife forsaken and grieved in spirit, like the wife of a man's youth when she is cast off, says your God. For a brief moment I abandoned you, but with great compassion I will gather you." Isaiah 54:6

I really feel as though I walked out the first part of that verse this past year. I have spent many a nights wondering where my husband was, questioning God and why he would have ME go through this. I mean, clearly I am so great that stuff like "this" shouldn't be happening to me...right? WRONG!!. Not so great ms. bre. not.so.great.  , listening to Jason Upton and Laura Hackett and crying out words that I didn't yet believe. 

The sweet isn't as sweet without the bitter.

My life is so sweet. 

I am being gathered. 

Freeing?

My life feels so open right now. I feel like I can be whatever I want to be and live wherever I want to live and write whatever I want to write and sleep whenever I want to sleep.
As freeing as this may sound, it does come with some serious decision making if you read the last post you will know that I am great with making a decision. It just might not be the right one....but I will make one.
I think that sometimes, the Lord will lead us towards a certain decision or kinda give a "HEY, Over HERE!!" but that is not always or often the case, at least in my life.
There is a time when the Lord says, "Hey, you are a big kid now. YOU pick and I will bless you and shine upon you in that decision".
Although the page of todays story was like the end of a chapter...like when you just have a few sentences on the page and then the rest of the page is blank..ya know..not a lot going on...A new chapter  is coming. That both excites and frightens me all at the same time.

Center St.

I just had a wonderful (and by wonderful I mean horribly hot, out of shape body hurts) run in the perfect little community that I live in. I wanted to go a new way this time and went up the lovely Riding Center Drive and then came home via Center St. Oh Center St. It is so perfect. On the left are the most massive, new, cookie cutter homes (Toll Brother's I think), and to the right are these little white single family homes tucked in one beside the other. Each has 1 big tree in front, 5 bushes, white paint, a 4x4 foot front yard and a cute little deck. Oh the illusion of perfection. It makes me smile. No matter how hard we try to make our outside look so put together we all know its just an illusion. We are all in it. This life that is. This hard, unpredictable, wonderful life. Let us stop pretending. There is Freedom in the end. (no really-Freedom High school is at the end of the street:) I love that.