Monday, August 8, 2011

The End.


I want to remember this moment. 
This feeling. The reality that things did not~
absolutely did not
turn out the way I had hoped and planned. 
They are so much more difficult and so much better.
 I entered  this home a young hopeful bride and now, nearly 5 years later, I leave this apartment a single mother not knowing where I will be living next week. 
I leave with a few loyal friends by my side painting, taking stuff to the dumpster
 and cleaning the bathrooms. 
I have realized so much in this home. 
I have, many of nights, been on the floor of the bathroom 
balling my eyes out wondering where God was.  
I have been locked in my bedroom scared to death to come out. 
 I have learned how to cook in this kitchen. I started my business here. 
I brought my baby home to this address. 
I have had my lights cut off many a months in this home and wondered how 
I would be able to pay the bill on my own. 
I found out that I failed out of school in the hallway and in the living room was 
where I learned about the affair. 
I painted all the walls and hung every picture. 
I sat on the porch and ate ice cream more than I probably should have. 
I sat in my rocking chair in the middle of the night and nursed my baby with tears in my eyes 
wondering why the Lord would bless me with such a sweet darling. 
I learned the importance of a stud finder, clorox wipes and a mortar&pestle 
I can't believe 5 years has come and gone. 
Tears fill my eyes as I type this in my bare kitchen ~not because I am leaving this place but in thankfulness in all the Lord has allowed me to go through within these walls. 
I have gotten to know the Lord in this home. 
I have felt His presence and have heard His voice. 

I don't know where I will be living next. 
My home is the Hilton for now. 
It is all a part of the story and I must walk out these pages. 
And with that, I flip the last page of that book. 

The End.

5 comments:

  1. Beautiful Bre. Will be praying for you on this new journey in this new chapter of your life!

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  2. Absolutely lovely. Beautifully expressed, beautifully written.

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  3. My heart...the places where our Iives are lived and formed are simply altars where the Lord changes us. I am so inspired by your lovely story. IthankGod for you, my friend.- Alice

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  4. love you. and love this journey you are on. So proud of you, my friend, for how you have responded to the Author and joined in the story writing with him. You have chosen a beautiful and low path. Grateful to have been on the road with you. I love it.

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  5. This was nice to read. I myself was starting to question God, but in reality he is the only one who travels with us on this journey we call life. I thank you because of your courage and the inspiration you have given me. Maybe you should become an inspirational writer- just a thought.
    God bless

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