Monday, May 10, 2010

ITS OVER....or is it just beginning?

Remember a few blog posts ago how I was talking about Esther and her early story and if I failed out of the Dental Hygiene program that it wouldn't be the end of the world??? WELL.....
I failed out.
The world is still going.
Yep. I got the call from the Dean today. It is the end of the road for me. I did not get a rose. The jury has spoken. The fat lady sang. Done. 
Alrighty. What did I do when she told me??? I cried a bit. Not too crazy. Just a bit. I mean....I bit more than that but I called a friend and that stopped the crying a bit. 
I failed.
So...the great thing about blogging is that you get to be held accountable for what you posted days before. For some reason I have this crazy peace in heart. This confident hope in my heart that God is on the throne. That it was to be a part of my story. 
Some things in the story, I chose to write in..Like what I wear and eat and who I call and have coffee with but other things like a cheating husband, failing out of school and a baby getting sick kinda get written in for you. Well, I feel that I did the best that I could considering my situation. And that is all I could have done. 

The good news:
I don't have to go to school in the summer
i can go to Kansas City soon
I can stay up late and blog
I get to be with Bailey more
Faith is getting activated

So here is where the rubber meets the road.
My eyes are on the Lord. My eyes are on YOU. My eyes are on YOU. I have no strategy at this point. I have no plan. I don't know where I am suppose to work. My eyes are on  YOU LORD. 
New Chapter. 
(The book is getting good. Character is at a crossroads. Does she start back up in the fall and re-do her year and then graduate a year later? Does she work at Anthropologie and have the greatest wardrobe ever? Does she get divorced sooner than expected? Does she move? Does she get some amazing modeling job and become rich over nite? Does she work for minimum wage somewhere struggling to keep her head above water? Stay tuned)

"Not my will or my plans or the way that I want. I'm so tired of my hands in the way. So reveal to these eyes the true heart of my Father. Today. Lord teach me how to pray. "-Jason UPton


  1. Wow. What an amazing perspective. Thank you so much for responding to the Lord instead of reacting to your present circumstance. You inspire me.

  2. Hey! for some reason Facebook won't let me send you this link!
    Here is an easier way to get the vessels and flowers website.