Thursday, May 26, 2011

When life sucks

Let’s get real and honest and real honest.

Sometimes life sucks really bad. Like all kinds of cuss words bad. I wake up and I wish I hadn’t. I hate my life and it is doing nothing to love me back. I have eaten all the food in the fridge, watched WAY to much reality tv or basketball, because I’d rather live in their reality than my own, but worse than all of these, it feels as if GOD has put his iPhone on silent while traveling the world helping everyone else but me. This is usually not a one day thing, although those do happen, but in my situation, it lasts more like weeks, months and even YEARS!!

Feel free to jump down here anytime and rescue me LORD! Do you see me down here dodging grenades and shrapnel favorite word all while trying to protect my job and my marriage and my future from being destroyed. DO YOU SEE ME???? Hello? Anyone? Beuller?

And then I start to feel crazy because CLEARLY, if I was a real Christian, I would be quoting cute little scriptures, listening to happy songs while boppin around smiling with glee and not overeating. But that is not the case.
I cry out to God and sometimes use bad words. I ignore my friends and family. I light candles and listen to Jason Upton while hoping my neighbors don’t hear me sobbing through the thin floor below. I shop, I work more, I sleep. I bite my cuticles and gain/lose a bunch of weight. I get really mad at that lady in church, you know, the one with the silly little Bible cover who seems to be living in a different decade,  marchin around tooting her horn of gladness while I am losing extremities down here in the trenches.

 Life feels more like a waging war than a smooth victory.

But I am a real Christian. Go read the Bible. That book is filled with stories of a bunch of scared women, lazy men, old Kings, stuttering goof balls, young Queens, helpless families and homeless people, whom God loved so much that HE allowed HIS child to die for and redeem. It’s quite crazy actually.  None of these people had giddy easy lives. They complained and got in trouble and slept with people they shouldn’t have and didn’t listen and they did all kinds of ridiculousness. If you search a bit, I'm sure you will find a few stories that sounds somewhat like your own. I know I have. And this gives me hope.

So we, in our desperation, helplessness and last bit of energy, have got to keep fighting. We must grab hold of the Word of God, get on our faces, begin to worship HIM and see if HE doesn’t send the
 Red CROSS to save us. 
I have a feeling HE did and HE does and HE will. I also think that when HE does come down to rescue us, HE may ask for us to lift our hand up so HE can grab it. In our pain and weakness, we may have to make an effort and reach out. It may not seem fair or fun or logical, and it probably won’t be, but if we could just see above the storm to the freedom, healing, restoration and victory that awaits…..

Have you every gone through a season like that?

1 comment:

  1. Hi! I found your blog and started reading and I am simply amazed at your strength in the Lord. Your words and style are BEAUTIFUL. Thank you for sharing! -Kate @